July 19, 2013

When Someone is Grieving

**This post is not a plea for further help ~ 
Please understand that we have been very well cared for!
Thank you to each one of you who has carried us in so many ways.  :)

It is, however, meant to be an encouragement to those of you who may have the 

opportunity to walk along side someone who is grieving now or in the future.
It is a great blessing to be able to walk through the valley with another.

**I can only write this post due to having been shown love and care

in the many following practical ways ~ I certainly had no idea how much was involved.
Many of you will already know all these things...but, I didn't!  

In our recent days of intense grieving, we were showered

with much love and practical help.

Cards, flowers, emails and voice messages were kindly sent to us.
Meals were delivered to our door ~ some came frozen and some came fresh.
Loved ones came along to just sit and brain storm and execute the plans being made.
Ironing and dishes and general tidying up were done.

Many helped with the graveside and memorial services
as well as the luncheon that followed.
Little and not so little *unknown* things were done behind the scenes.
It's been overwhelming to be on the receiving end of such loving care.

I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing it all has been.

When people offered to help, they were given something to do.
Sometimes the one grieving doesn't even know what needs doing.
Ask those closest to them how you may help ~ they likely will know.

It can be a difficult thing to know what to say 
or do when someone is grieving.

Especially if you've never gone through a similar type of loss.
Eventually, however, we will all experience grief of one sort or another.
We all grieve differently.  But, I think we are all similar in this one thing ~
 We surely are blessed to be loved through the process.

There are so many ways in which love can be shown. 

A listening ear without saying much ~ just *being there*.
 Encourage the one grieving to share what's on their 
heart or just hug them while they cry.

Helping out in practical ways is another loving thing to do ~ 
provide a meal or something else needed.
Perhaps come along side with helping hands to iron or clean or?
There may be times when the one grieving will want to talk it out.

They will want to remember their precious loved one ~
and they will want you to remember him or her as well.
Some memories will stir up tears and others will generate smiles.
It's all normal.  The various displays of emotion are all part of the process.

We all grieve differently, and that's okay.

It's a good idea to go with their lead in these things.

 Perhaps it will be too much to have memories brought up
at this tender time, or maybe it will be just what is needed.

The LORD will give wisdom to know when to talk and when to keep silent.
Those grieving will not always know what they need or even be able to articulate it.
Each of us, however, benefits from being pointed to Scripture and the Truth.

When you don't know what else to say or do ~ 

Prayer and sharing God's Word is always appropriate.

One fear that may be harboured in the heart of the one who has had to say 

goodbye to a loved one is that they will forget ~ that their loved one will be forgotten.
Help them remember.  When they are ready, share your memories.
In these ways the heart is comforted and the pain lessened.

Seek the LORD for opportunities to be a blessing.

Look for things to do that will ease the burden.
Write notes of encouragement that include Scripture.
And, most importantly ~ Pray!

Pray that the God of all comfort 

would give His peace and His grace and His strength.
Pray that joy would come in the morning.
Pray that they would not forget HIM in the midst of it all.
Pray for them the way you would like to be prayed for.

And, treat them how you would wish to be treated ~

It's a wonderful, beautiful thing.

By God's Grace, we have been cared for amazingly well ~

He has blessed us with such supportive and loving people!!
Thank you, each one of you, from the bottom of our hearts.
May the LORD help us to comfort others as you have comforted us.

With Love,

**Photos in this post courtesy of my Uncle Gordon ~

Thank you SO much!  XO


Lady Farmer said...

Your words of wisdom and experience are encouraging as we are helping another dear lady in our church who just lost her husband of 50 something years to lukemia. They were raising their Great-Granddaughter and it is difficult to know just what to do or say. But God is holding her up with His mighty right arm and we are trying to be available for whatever practical service we can be for her.
We continue to pray for you and your dear family, my precious friend. And you continue to be such a blessing and encouragement to all.
Praying God gives you extra special blessings this day!

Patty said...

Thank you for sharing from the perspective of the griever. You are a blessing to many, Camille. May the Lord surround you with His peace that passes understanding.

Heather said...

I'm so glad you shared these ideas, Camille. It's so important for friends and family to know that they don't always have to conjure up the "right" thing to say, but simply sit and cry with a grieving loved one. I've been through grieving in a different way and only desired a listening ear.

Love you, dear friend.

Christa said...

Thank you Camille for sharing. I am always encouraged by your strength and trust in the Lord. You are an example to all who visit here and read. I will continue to pray for your family...Christa

~marci~ said...

This post is a blessing and an encouragement~thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure if I have ever commented on here but this post is so timely. I have prayed for your family when I read the posts about Austin. Everything you have mentioned here is spot on. We too are in the midst of intense grieving. Our 16 yo son and his 15 yo friend went missing at the lake while we were visiting for the day. They were found in the lake 3 days later and the Lord has been our strength. God is good ALL the time.

As You Wish said...

Your faith and words are inspiring and an encouragement. Thank you for sharing them. May God continue to comfort you and your family.

Camille said...

Dear Raeann ~ How precious it is to hear from you here! I have missed you in this space...really missed you!! Thank you for your kind friendship and for your sweet words. I appreciate you. Please tell your friend we are praying for her and I am praying for you as you minister to her...what a blessing you are! :)

Dear Patty ~ You bless my heart. Thank you for being a sweet friend through these means. May the LORD bless you! :)

Dear Heather ~ Yes, my friend...it's true...the *right* thing to do is sometimes to sit quietly and just be there. God is so Good to us, isn't HE? Love to you! :)

Dear Christa ~ How lovely it is to hear from you here my friend! I have missed you in this space...but, I do understand that there are seasons. May the LORD bless you as you serve Him and follow Him. Thank you for your prayers for us...they are a great blessing. Hugs to you! :)

Dear Marci ~ You bless and encourage me...thank you! :)

Dear Anonymous ~ I am SO sorry! Your story brought me to tears! How beautiful that the LORD is evidently walking this path with you. May HE give much grace moment by moment...HE is Faithful. Please email me if you would like to at flowersinhisgarden@gmail.com...only if you'd like to! Please know that we are praying for you and your family. Hugs. :)

Dear *As You Wish* ~ Welcome here! Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. It's a blessing to my heart that you stopped by. :)

Many Blessings,

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I think when you are grieving it is wonderful to have someone share a precious memory they have of your loved one. It helps when they remember anniversaries. It is nice to know that your loved one isn't forgotten.

I felt that way in my own loss. To a have a friend care enough to "check in" with me and see how I am truly doing was HUGE.

Again, your family photos here are so precious. I commend you for sharing them.

I love you, dear friend. You are grieving well.


Camille said...

Dear Stacie ~ You bless my heart. Thank you for being a sweet encouragement to me! May the LORD be glorified in your grieving and in ours. Love and hugs! Camille

Terri said...

Hello...I too have lost someone close to me..my dear sweet hubby...its been only 1 1/2 yrs...yet it seems like a eternity...thanks you for your kind words about those who grieve...no one understands... sooo those of us who are widows are left to our own devices...no one really knows how to deal with us. They are kind when our loved one dies but, then 1 1/2 yrs later are left all alone...How do we help those who don't understand to understand..the lonliness is s killer....Thanks!!!

Camille said...

Welcome Terri ~ It's lovely to *meet* you. I am so sorry for your loss. May the Lord give you much grace as you walk this path with Him. Hugs, Camille