June 29, 2013


It's happened twice ~ this feeling of being carried.
It's precious to belong to the Family of our Great God.
He sustains.  He carries.  He keeps.
It's all of Him.  He is so good and kind and gentle.
We are blessed beyond measure.

In the past four weeks we have seen the hand of God in our lives.

We have been encouraged by HIS grace.  HIS mercies.  HIS peace.
Oh, there have been moments of sheer terror at the thought
of going on without our precious Austin living here with us.
There have been tears like never before.
Deep anguish that seems like it will overtake.

But, God meets us in our pain.

He encourages through HIS Word and prayer.
And, He sends people to be His hands and feet to us.
We have been carried in so many ways.

I cannot begin to tell you how precious it is.

To belong to HIS wonderful family is overwhelmingly amazing.
We praise Him for His hand upon us in this fierce storm.
He truly does carry and keep and provide.
He does all things well.

I cannot help but think of all that Austin has gained.

He has seen his Saviour face to face.
He has been worshipping Him in perfection for nearly a month.
He does not struggle with self or sin or the evil one any longer.
He is free from pain and suffering.
And, he is rejoicing with the blood bought saints who have gone on before.
Spurgeon, Uncle Johnny, Abraham, Joseph and so many more ~
They all are there together praising our precious LORD.

What a thought!

What more could a Mama want for her child?

In my flesh, I want him here.  With me.  With us.

But, God in His wise purposes has chosen a different path.
And, we must see that it is best.  It is painful, but, it is best.
Only the LORD can give this perspective.
It does not come naturally.  Not at all.

And, it is not easy.

How are we handling these realities?

Moment by moment.  Step by step.  Day by day.
One foot in front of the other.  With HIM.
It's the only way.  There really is no other option.

I continually have to reign in my thoughts.

I am not to imagine the future without Austin here with us.
Because the future here is not mine yet.  I don't own it.
I don't own my next breath ~ God does.
But, in this moment.  There is grace.  There is strength.
It's found in Christ Alone.  Only in Him.

We as Christians are promised a future with our Great God.

Austin has just gone ahead of us.  He lives because HE lives!
As my brother in law said at the memorial service ~
Austin just has had a change of address.
We will go to him one day because we will go to our LORD.
And, we will be together forever worshipping our Great Saviour
for all eternity.  It's a glorious thought!

There are currently three *must have* books on my list for the Christian.

If you do not have these books, might I humbly suggest
that you get your hands on a copy of each one?
The first is the Bible.  The Word of God.  It's our food.  We starve without it.
The second is CH Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening" ~ so rich.  So encouraging.

And, the third?  I've been reading it for the past year off and on.

It's the type of book you could read and read and read again.
So full of Truth and faith building words....really, it's a gem.
"Trusting God Even When Life Hurts" by Jerry Bridges is the book I'm speaking of.
Please get your hands on a copy.  Please read it and drink it in.
It will fortify your soul and encourage your heart.

We all have struggles and trials to face at one time or another.
It's the nature of this life here on this earth.
How can we use these things to the strengthening of our character
and the deepening of our walk with God?
We must go through the valley with Him ~ praying each step
of the way that we would learn what He is seeking to teach.
We must seek Him for strength and grace to trust
Him even when we don't understand and to glorify Him in the midst of it all.

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by name;
thou art mine.  When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee:
when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour."
~ Isaiah 43;1b-3a ~

HE is Faithful.  HE will walk the path with us.
And, no...the waters will not overflow.  The flame will not kindle upon us.
It's His promise to His people.  I can testify that it is true.

Much Love,


June 2, 2013

With the LORD ~ Final Update

*UPDATE* ~ Austin's memorial is scheduled for Monday, June 10, 2013 ~
Please email Camille at flowersinhisgarden@gmail.com 
if you are in our area and would like to attend.

"...The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away;
blessed be the name of the LORD."  ~ Job 1:21b ~

Suddenly, and without warning, our precious Austin
was taken to be with his Saviour yesterday morning ~ June 1, 2013 
sometime between 9:45 and 10:45am peacefully in his sleep.
I had spoken with him at 9:45 and returned to his room to wake
him for the day at 10:45 when I found him unresponsive.
He had tucked himself in and appeared to be asleep ~ peaceful.
It has been determined that his heart went into ventricular fibrillation
and was unable to recover with the shocks delivered by the internal defibrillator.

Apparently, he would have passed out from the 
fibrillation and passed away shortly thereafter.

It does not seem real.  I write this from a broken heart.
I had told Austin he was to bury me ~ it was not to be the other way around.
But, our Great God had other plans ~ better and wiser ones.

Austin suffered most often in gracious silence the last three years of his life 
with rarely a complaint ~ he just was not a complainer.  
He was always easy-going and found joy in the little things.
The LORD has delivered him from his pain and suffering.
He is with the Lord Jesus Christ in glory ~ praising the Saviour he loved!

He would not want to come back.


But, oh, how I want him back!

For just one more hug, one more smile, one more laugh.
To see him and hear him and touch him ~ my first baby.
But, this is not what is best.  God truly does what is best.
His ways are perfect.  He always does all things well.

We must continually speak Truth to ourselves.
We must fill our minds with Truth.  God's Word is Truth.
It is living and powerful and is our sustenance in times like these.
Each day is a gift.  Each moment is precious.

God graciously gave us extra time with our Austin.  
Humanly and medically speaking, he should have died last spring
when he was first diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy.
But, God saw fit to restore him to health and life for a few months.
It was a gift that I will always cherish.  From the hand of a Loving God.

May we never charge Him foolishly.  
May He be glorified in all we do and say and think.
May He continue to daily give grace to live for Him.
We cannot take this journey alone ~ and, we are not called to.
He walks this path with us.  The waters will not overflow.

In Austin's Birthday card this year, 
the verses we shared with him were these ~

"Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by name;
thou art mine.  When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee:
when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour."
~ Isaiah 43;1b-3a ~

These promises are real and true.  
They will stand sure until the end of time.
We have every confidence that we will one day see our
precious Austin again.  In Heaven.  Forever.  With the LORD.

Thank you for walking this journey with us.
Thank you for supporting us in the myriad of ways that you have.
We appreciate each and every one of you.

Keeping our eyes fixed by His grace alone ~
And with Much Love,

**The photo in this post was taken in the Fall of 2011 ~

It's a favourite photo of Austin when he looked most himself.

**Please know that your thoughts shared and comments made

will be cherished by each one of us ~
I will, however, be unable to reply at this time.
We will have to be absent from this space for the next while ~
Thank you for your gracious understanding.
Please pray that we would remain steadfast in HIM.

**If you are not sure where you will spend eternity,

please click here and prayerfully consider your never dying soul.

Update ~ Howie posted on his blog in his own words as a Dad.

If you would like to read what he wrote, please click here.