Austin's Clothes

Austin's clothes remained in his drawers and closet for nearly two years. 
We didn't have the heart to deal with his room, so it remained vacant
with his things nearly as he'd left them.
It was too difficult for us to sort through, so we waited.

Items that would be useful to his brothers were pulled out,

but, the rest stayed put.  The occasional piece made its
 way back into the mix of wearing and laundry and life.

But, some of the more sentimental pieces remained untouched.

A little over a year ago, we moved Calvin into his room.

Austin's things were stored away to be sifted through at a later date.  

His clothes were packaged up into a bag and set on a shelf. 
His collections, books, keepsakes and violin occupied another shelf.
I don't know when we will sort through everything.  One step at a time.

Almost three years to the day after his home-going to heaven,

I pulled the bag of clothes off the shelf and opened it up.

I am not sure where the idea came from, but,

it seems to me that it was another grieving mother who shared

what she had done with her child's clothing.

A raggy quilt had been made with the items.  What a wonderful idea!

So, that's what I am planning to do with some of Austin's clothes.  
I love it that it will be functional and in the mix of everyday life. 
  
Ready to be put to use or simply to view at any moment.  In any season.
After all, isn't that what keepsakes are for?
To be looked at and used and enjoyed?  Otherwise, they just gather dust.
I don't want Austin's things to languish on a shelf or sit tucked away in a box.

We are thankful to have these reminders of our Austin.
Each item of clothing that will be incorporated into this quilt is special.

It's a comfort to be reminded of our young man.
We speak of him often and smile as we remember.
Sometimes there are tears ~ at other times, there is laughter.
It's all part of the process of living here without him. 

I'm so thankful for that long-ago inspiration to make something
from the clothes he left behind.  It will be a treasure.

With Love,
Camille

Missing Austin ~ 3.5 Years

We miss our Austin.  No one and nothing will alter that fact.

We will miss him until we are reunited in Heaven.

It's been three and a half years since the Lord called him Home.

It hardly seems possible that we have been physically separated that long.

Sometimes it seems longer and at other times, shorter.

It's a difficult thing to process and to explain.

We continue to talk to ourselves and fill up our hearts with truth.

The truth of where he is and what he is experiencing.

The Bible tells us that we cannot even imagine how amazing it is!

We are so happy for our son.  We are thankful for the reality that is his.

But, we miss having him here with us.  

His smile, his presence, his voice.

Our other three are growing up and catching up.

Both Calvin and Fraser have passed Austin in height.

It's a bittersweet thing to witness the two boys together

without their big brother in the mix.  It hurts.

Emma is becoming a woman.  She was a still a girl
when her big brother was called home to Heaven.

The rawness of the grief is gone.  The sting of it has dulled.
In its place is an undercurrent of reflective sadness mingled with expectant hope.
We are altered because of the experience.  We trust it has been for the good.
It has made us slow down more and take stock more and be still more.

Things and stuff and experiences matter less.  People matter more.
Eternal things matter most.  So, we seek to share the good news of
our Saviour to all who will listen as the opportunities arise.



The days and moments we are given are gifts.
What we do with our time here matters.
Before long, our life here will be complete.
And in the end, the eternal things will be all that remain.



So, we reflect and we remember.  And, we press on.
We put one foot in front of the other ~ step by step, we move forward.
We carry precious memories with us.  And, we make new ones.
God is faithful to carry us and to give all that we stand in need of.

We serve the same great God our Austin serves.
We seek to praise Him as our Austin is continually doing.
One day, our journey here will be done,
and the Lord will call us home to Heaven, too.

Until then, we are seeking to follow wherever He leads.
And, to serve our Saviour as long as He has us here.
By His grace and for His glory.  Alone.

With Love,
Camille

**All images in this post are from Austin's little years.

Every Reason to Hope

The path of grief is unique for each one of us.

Even grieving for a precious loved one may take on a different

form or timetable for each of those on the journey alongside us.

It's personal.  And, yet, it is corporal.

We are to carry one another's burdens.

And, in the midst of it all, the Lord carries us.

We don't have to have all the answers.  We don't even have to speak.  
We can sit and listen and hug and cry.  
We can pray and share the Lord's Word and direct hearts heavenward.
All of this is made possible by God's great grace.  His enabling.



And, He is glorified in the process.  Through these things,
the result often seems to be that He becomes more.  We become less.

If the Lord is your Saviour, you can be sure that wherever He has you in this moment
is exactly where He will meet you and carry you through to the next.
His path for each of us will often look somewhat different from the path He
has others on.  Sometimes it will be difficult.  Excruciatingly so.

But, He promises never to leave His own.
He promises that His strength will be sufficient.
        
  He is enough.  And, we can most surely rest our hearts there.
Whatever the future holds, we can confidently move ahead into it.
Because He is there.  And, He will see us through.  He is faithful.
And, He will keep us each step of the way.

We truly have nothing to fear and every reason to hope
when we belong to Him.  What could be better than that?

With Love,
Camille

For the Kids

Each year, on June 1st, we have done something different.

We seem to be falling into a consistent pattern when it comes to

Austin's birthday.  We like to remember his home-going day as well.

But, not in the same manner.

It's emerged as being a day to mark for its spiritual significance.

It was, in fact, Austin's best day.  He was called Home to Heaven.

What could be better than that?  It's exactly what we desire for all our children.

Austin just went ahead of our schedule.

June 1st doesn't always involve gifts for our other three.

However, the first year we gave our children each a

copy of "Trusting God ~ Even When Life Hurts".

We subsequently read it together as a family.

Last year, if I remember correctly, we listened to the sermon our

pastor preached the very next morning after Austin's entrance into heaven.
We may have listened to Austin's recorded testimony as well.
We most certainly would have reflected on where our son is and what he is doing.

This year, we gave each of the kids a copy of "Grieving, Hope and Solace". 
Three personalised photo books had been created which were given as well.  
 They were thrilled with them.  Which, of course, thrilled my heart.

Each book contains photos of their growing up years with their big brother.
The journalling which accompanies the photos was created specifically for each one.
Unique memories are mentioned and made note of in order to stir
up more memories, or to draw attention to those perhaps forgotten.

While I was putting the books together, there were tears as well as smiles.
It was most definitely an emotional journey.  But, one well worth the effort.

 

    We look back, and we are thankful.
The Lord has blessed us abundantly, and we praise Him.
His ways are always best, even when we don't understand.
Even when it is excruciatingly difficult.
 
We rest our hearts in His Sovereign plan.   
And, we look to Him.

It won't be long, and we will be together again.
Praising the Lord forever throughout all eternity.
 May the Lord give us grace to follow wherever He leads.
We know that He will be faithful until the day He calls us Home.  

With Love,

  Camille   

Three Years ~ A Giveaway

We have been three years on this journey.
And, it would be accurate to say we feel as though
we have been amputated as a family.

It's how I described it in the beginning, and still do to this day.
 (Not knowing, of course, what a physical amputation feels like,
but, imagining it may be something like this absence we are experiencing.)

For our friends, it's been nearly three months.
We are on parallel journeys in so many ways.
And, yet, our journeys remain unique.

One thing we most definitely have in common
is where our strength lies.  Where our hope comes from.

In honour of our Austin's home-going to Heaven,
I am offering one of you a copy of this encouraging and
faith-building little book.  It has been used to comfort our hearts,
and, I trust it will be a sweet blessing to you as well.  

We all, at one point or another, will have to deal with grief in our lives.
Perhaps there is someone in your life who is currently grieving.
This book is a great encouragement to those walking with the Lord.
There is no time like the present to read such a treasure.

All you have to do to enter this draw is leave a comment
with a way to reach you if your name should be chosen.
If you would like to email me privately for an entry,
my email address is flowersinhisgarden@gmail.com.   

My plan is to pull a name from the hat at
Noon (PST) on Monday, June 6th. 

With Love,
Camille   

**UPDATE ~ Giveaway CLOSED** 

Twenty-One Years Ago...

Twenty-one years ago, our Austin took us from *couple* to

*family-of-three*.  He stole our hearts and wound his way into our lives.

We would never be the same.  And, we were never happier not to be.

Since he was called home to heaven nearly three years ago,

his birthday is the most significant of all the dates that need acknowledgment.

We cannot let the day pass without remembering his life and what it means to ours.

We make it a practice to remember him on this day as a family.

It feels like the right thing to do, so, it is what we do.

All our children are special.  None of them are forgotten.

Austin is no exception.    

We are amazed at all the Lord allowed us to experience

together as a family of six.  We look back with thankful hearts.

Austin was planning to become an architect.

We loved to watch as he put pencil to paper.
God had blessed him with talents that could not be taught.

He was a diligent student and persevered with his

studies even in the midst of the health challenges he faced.
His strength of character was never more evident than in those times.
But, he would have told you that the strength we saw came from the Lord. 

When I take photos of the three we have here

with us, I always miss Austin's presence with them.
It hurts my Mama heart that he is absent from our home.
He is never far from our thoughts.  His memory lives on in our hearts.

Family photos just do not feel complete.

He is missed by us all.  Excruciatingly so.

One day, however, we will be together once again.

What a precious hope we have because of our Lord!

By God's great grace, we continually fill our hearts and minds

with the reality of what lies ahead.  What is to come. 

This is not where the story ends.

So, we remember.  And, we are grateful.

We also look forward with anticipation and joy.

The Lord truly is good and does all things well.

We are seeking always to rest our hearts in Him.

With Love, Camille