Austin's Clothes

Austin's clothes remained in his drawers and closet for nearly two years. 
We didn't have the heart to deal with his room, so it remained vacant
with his things nearly as he'd left them.
It was too difficult for us to sort through, so we waited.

Items that would be useful to his brothers were pulled out,

but, the rest stayed put.  The occasional piece made its
 way back into the mix of wearing and laundry and life.

But, some of the more sentimental pieces remained untouched.

A little over a year ago, we moved Calvin into his room.

Austin's things were stored away to be sifted through at a later date.  

His clothes were packaged up into a bag and set on a shelf. 
His collections, books, keepsakes and violin occupied another shelf.
I don't know when we will sort through everything.  One step at a time.

Almost three years to the day after his home-going to heaven,

I pulled the bag of clothes off the shelf and opened it up.

I am not sure where the idea came from, but,

it seems to me that it was another grieving mother who shared

what she had done with her child's clothing.

A raggy quilt had been made with the items.  What a wonderful idea!

So, that's what I am planning to do with some of Austin's clothes.  
I love it that it will be functional and in the mix of everyday life. 
  
Ready to be put to use or simply to view at any moment.  In any season.
After all, isn't that what keepsakes are for?
To be looked at and used and enjoyed?  Otherwise, they just gather dust.
I don't want Austin's things to languish on a shelf or sit tucked away in a box.

We are thankful to have these reminders of our Austin.
Each item of clothing that will be incorporated into this quilt is special.

It's a comfort to be reminded of our young man.
We speak of him often and smile as we remember.
Sometimes there are tears ~ at other times, there is laughter.
It's all part of the process of living here without him. 

I'm so thankful for that long-ago inspiration to make something
from the clothes he left behind.  It will be a treasure.

With Love,
Camille

Missing Austin ~ 3.5 Years

We miss our Austin.  No one and nothing will alter that fact.

We will miss him until we are reunited in Heaven.

It's been three and a half years since the Lord called him Home.

It hardly seems possible that we have been physically separated that long.

Sometimes it seems longer and at other times, shorter.

It's a difficult thing to process and to explain.

We continue to talk to ourselves and fill up our hearts with truth.

The truth of where he is and what he is experiencing.

The Bible tells us that we cannot even imagine how amazing it is!

We are so happy for our son.  We are thankful for the reality that is his.

But, we miss having him here with us.  

His smile, his presence, his voice.

Our other three are growing up and catching up.

Both Calvin and Fraser have passed Austin in height.

It's a bittersweet thing to witness the two boys together

without their big brother in the mix.  It hurts.

Emma is becoming a woman.  She was a still a girl
when her big brother was called home to Heaven.

The rawness of the grief is gone.  The sting of it has dulled.
In its place is an undercurrent of reflective sadness mingled with expectant hope.
We are altered because of the experience.  We trust it has been for the good.
It has made us slow down more and take stock more and be still more.

Things and stuff and experiences matter less.  People matter more.
Eternal things matter most.  So, we seek to share the good news of
our Saviour to all who will listen as the opportunities arise.



The days and moments we are given are gifts.
What we do with our time here matters.
Before long, our life here will be complete.
And in the end, the eternal things will be all that remain.



So, we reflect and we remember.  And, we press on.
We put one foot in front of the other ~ step by step, we move forward.
We carry precious memories with us.  And, we make new ones.
God is faithful to carry us and to give all that we stand in need of.

We serve the same great God our Austin serves.
We seek to praise Him as our Austin is continually doing.
One day, our journey here will be done,
and the Lord will call us home to Heaven, too.

Until then, we are seeking to follow wherever He leads.
And, to serve our Saviour as long as He has us here.
By His grace and for His glory.  Alone.

With Love,
Camille

**All images in this post are from Austin's little years.

As They Come

The days run together in one long line-up of ordinary things

and before we can catch up with it all, it changes.  We change.

It was like this when the children were small and there were

four precious little ones around our table.

It is still like this, even though the three who remain here

with us are no longer little.  And, Austin's chair sits empty.

We somehow think that things will go on as they always do.

And when they don't, we are caught by surprise.

But, it's all good.  Life is good.  As long as we remember

that this is not all there is.  Something better is coming.

We need to prepare our hearts for change

while living out the moments as they come.

Our Austin has been in heaven for over three years.

Fraser just caught up to Calvin's six-foot-two height.

Emma is becoming a woman right before our eyes.

These days do not look like those of ten, or even five, years ago.

I like to fill my heart with the idea that each season is precious.

That all seasons of life are gifts to be embraced and enjoyed.

So, we seek to live in this moment, this day, and in this season

with all that we have and all that we are.  By God's abundant grace.

 And, we seek to remember that in the midst of it all,

we are to bring glory to our Saviour's great Name.

After all, He is the Reason we live.

He is the Reason we have hope.

What season do you find yourself in?
Are you finding that there is grace and strength to
accomplish all that is set before you?  Are you weary?
If so, don't despair, the Lord is faithful to see His people through.

"And He (Jesus Christ) said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee;
for my strength is made perfect in weakness..."  II Corinthians 12:9

We must keep our hearts fixed on those lasting and eternal things,
and refocus our attentions to the tasks of the day in which we find ourselves.
How good and gracious the Lord is to give all we stand in need of.
Moment by moment.  Step by step.  Until the day He calls us Home.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work
in you all perform it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6

With Love,

Camille

**Image in this post courtesy of Calvin ~
Thank you so much my love. xoxo

Bigger than Fear

It was shortly before Austin's 17th birthday when

we found ourselves at Children's Hospital in the ICU.

He had been admitted for one malady which very quickly took

a backseat to a much more serious one.

During that hospital stay, 
our Austin was diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy 
which had not previously been on anyone's radar.

DCM, as it is commonly referred to,

is a life-threatening condition.  Austin was given a little booklet

to read in an attempt to inform him of his new diagnosis.

He was too weak to read.  So, he left it.

When I had a moment, I picked it up and read it through.

Austin asked me to give him the run down.  I didn't want to.  Not then.

I told him that I wanted to wait until he was out of ICU.

But, he insisted on knowing what he was up against.

I resisted.  But, he pushed me for a brief synopsis.

He really wanted to know.

It was grim and I didn't want to upset him unnecessarily.
The statistics for DCM were grave.  One third of children

diagnosed with the condition die, one third live with
impaired heart function, and one third fully recover.

I told him the potential was that he could die.  
He replied after only a moment..."That was blunt!"
And then, after a pause and thoughtful consideration,
"But, I'm not afraid to die, because I know where I am going".

It was a profound moment we shared.
He and I were alone and it was precious to witness his response.
Austin had looked death squarely in the face and was able,
as evidenced by his bold declaration, to prove his faith was bigger than fear.

From that moment on, he had a boldness in his witness 
for the Lord and all that He has done for His people which warmed my heart.
He was able to testify that we serve a good and gracious Saviour
Who does all things well and without mistake.

It was incredibly encouraging to us as his parents.
It was clear where he stood and in Whom he had put his trust.

Austin was well aware of the situation he was in.
However, he sought to live life to its fullest in spite of it.
By God's great grace, he knew what was most important and lived accordingly.
         It is how we all ought to live.  It is something we all ought to consider. 

Eternal focus has a way of clearing out clutter.
All that really matters is all that is left.
 
We have many happy memories of our precious son.
This particular memory is one that I hold dear to my heart.
We really didn't believe that Austin would fall into the one third
category of children who eventually die from DCM.

The Lord graciously gave us just over 14 months more with our son
after his diagnosis.  For that, and many other mercies, we are thankful.
One day, the Lord will cause us to know all that we need to about these things.
Until then, we trust in His perfect and sovereign plan for us all.

It is a blessing to rest our hearts in His good purposes.
It is truly a wonderful thing to belong to Him.

Are you the Lord's?  Do you have the confidence in your future that our Austin had?
It is only possible through the Lord Jesus Christ and His finished work.
The assurance of salvation is available to all who come ~ see John 6:37.

There is nothing more precious than trusting in the Saviour, 
and knowing that you belong to Him.  There is a wonderful peace
that comes with knowing where you will be for all eternity.
 Look to Him and live!

With Love,
Camille

**The first photo in this post is from the hospital stay when we first learned
of Austin's DCM diagnosis.  He was out of ICU and upstairs.

**The second photo is from Austin's last birthday card ~
the verses written there were such a comfort to his heart, and to ours.

Balance

Recently, I came across this practical guide to good food choices.
I printed it off four times ~ one copy for myself, and one for each of the kids.
My hope is that they will take these things with them into their adult lives.
Some things are not learned by osmosis; they need to be taught.

I'm trusting that they are paying attention.  :)

What about you?  How do you find balance in the
whole foods, healthy eating, and cooking parts of life and living?
Would you mind sharing your ideas on how you keep it all in perspective?
How are you passing these things on to your children/teens?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Enjoy the journey!
With Love, Camille

Only One Left

Each of our three boys has graduated from high school.
Emma is the only one left for me to teach.
I'm working myself out of a job.  Or, so it would seem.  :)  

Austin was called home to heaven six days prior to his graduation day.
Two years ago, Calvin walked the stage and received his diploma.
And now, Fraser has completed his high school requirements.  

He looks happy about it, don't you think? 

The principal of our school gave a wonderful address to the grads.

He had the honour of switching the tassel from right to left.

Apparently, that one act signifies the passage from childhood to adulthood.

Just as quickly and easily as that.  :)

We all gathered together for a family photo.

Then, the kids posed for me.

And, we posed for Calvin.

And, that was that.

Fraser, we pray that the Lord will guide you as He has in the past.
We have every confidence that He will be faithful to lead you each step of the way.
And, we know that whatever He calls you to, He will see you through!

How precious it is to belong to Him!

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good;
and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly,
and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"  Micah 6:8

With All our Love,
Dad and Mum  XOXO

For the Kids

Each year, on June 1st, we have done something different.

We seem to be falling into a consistent pattern when it comes to

Austin's birthday.  We like to remember his home-going day as well.

But, not in the same manner.

It's emerged as being a day to mark for its spiritual significance.

It was, in fact, Austin's best day.  He was called Home to Heaven.

What could be better than that?  It's exactly what we desire for all our children.

Austin just went ahead of our schedule.

June 1st doesn't always involve gifts for our other three.

However, the first year we gave our children each a

copy of "Trusting God ~ Even When Life Hurts".

We subsequently read it together as a family.

Last year, if I remember correctly, we listened to the sermon our

pastor preached the very next morning after Austin's entrance into heaven.
We may have listened to Austin's recorded testimony as well.
We most certainly would have reflected on where our son is and what he is doing.

This year, we gave each of the kids a copy of "Grieving, Hope and Solace". 
Three personalised photo books had been created which were given as well.  
 They were thrilled with them.  Which, of course, thrilled my heart.

Each book contains photos of their growing up years with their big brother.
The journalling which accompanies the photos was created specifically for each one.
Unique memories are mentioned and made note of in order to stir
up more memories, or to draw attention to those perhaps forgotten.

While I was putting the books together, there were tears as well as smiles.
It was most definitely an emotional journey.  But, one well worth the effort.

 

    We look back, and we are thankful.
The Lord has blessed us abundantly, and we praise Him.
His ways are always best, even when we don't understand.
Even when it is excruciatingly difficult.
 
We rest our hearts in His Sovereign plan.   
And, we look to Him.

It won't be long, and we will be together again.
Praising the Lord forever throughout all eternity.
 May the Lord give us grace to follow wherever He leads.
We know that He will be faithful until the day He calls us Home.  

With Love,

  Camille   

Three Years ~ A Giveaway

We have been three years on this journey.
And, it would be accurate to say we feel as though
we have been amputated as a family.

It's how I described it in the beginning, and still do to this day.
 (Not knowing, of course, what a physical amputation feels like,
but, imagining it may be something like this absence we are experiencing.)

For our friends, it's been nearly three months.
We are on parallel journeys in so many ways.
And, yet, our journeys remain unique.

One thing we most definitely have in common
is where our strength lies.  Where our hope comes from.

In honour of our Austin's home-going to Heaven,
I am offering one of you a copy of this encouraging and
faith-building little book.  It has been used to comfort our hearts,
and, I trust it will be a sweet blessing to you as well.  

We all, at one point or another, will have to deal with grief in our lives.
Perhaps there is someone in your life who is currently grieving.
This book is a great encouragement to those walking with the Lord.
There is no time like the present to read such a treasure.

All you have to do to enter this draw is leave a comment
with a way to reach you if your name should be chosen.
If you would like to email me privately for an entry,
my email address is flowersinhisgarden@gmail.com.   

My plan is to pull a name from the hat at
Noon (PST) on Monday, June 6th. 

With Love,
Camille   

**UPDATE ~ Giveaway CLOSED**