September 7, 2013

Caught Between

Life is full.  It doesn't wait for us to catch up.
Time marches on.  And, we are caught between two worlds.
The here and now and the eternal.
It's a strange place to be.  It's a normal place to be.

The other evening, Howie and I were at a meeting.
We met some people there for the first time.
Of course, the number of children we have came up.
The simple answer?  Four.  We still have four children.
Three boys and a girl.



What is Heaven like?

I'm caught between two worlds ~ here and there.
We think and talk and read more about Heaven
than we ever have before.
In the past, it was a distant faraway place that 
was in our future.  We were happy about it ~ absolutely.
However, it didn't occupy many of our thoughts.

I was happily caught up with the things of now.
Now, it's more difficult to navigate the now.
But, these are the things that shape us and fit us for eternity.
It's in these things that we learn and grow and are stretched.

Most of all, we learn more of our Great God.


These days, we remember Austin and speak of him freely.
We cry easily and laugh easily ~ it's all part of the process.
This journey is far from over.  And, that's okay.
We don't really want it to end.  We don't want to forget.


The children are diligently doing school and I am trying to catch up.
Part of me doesn't want to catch up.  But, it's the right thing to do.
So, I go through the day ~ step by step.
The children are a step ahead.  And, it is good.


The boys are quite independent in their studies.
They rarely need help any more.
And, when they do require assistance, they tend to go to Howie.


I find myself mostly needed by Emma in the academic things.
Our school life has come full circle.

In the early days of home educating our children, Emma was a tag along.
She was just four and joined in with us in all that were doing.
She sat with us as we read history and explored science.
She came along on the field trips we took.
Emma was included in everything.


She is serious about her studies.
One of her courses is online this year ~
goodness me!  She is growing up, too.

Why can't we just bottle them up and keep them small
for a little while longer?  It's not possible.  
But, wouldn't it be good to slow things down just a bit?


So, these days are full.  They are colour-full.
And, that's how life is, wouldn't you agree?

We need the black and grey colours in our lives
just as much as we need the bright ones. 
It's how it is.  And, it is good.


So, yes.  We have four children.
Austin still lives.  Just not here.


We seek to live these days as the Lord gives them.
Entering in to each moment and enjoying the gift of now.
By His grace and for His glory.  For now and for eternity.
Because nothing else really matters.

With Love,
Camille

12 comments:

Dianna said...

Dear Camille,
Viewing pictures of Emma make me wonder what you were like when you were a little girl. She is absolutely beautiful and pink is definitely her color!

It is good that the kids are one step ahead...that they are adjusting. I surely do pray for them as they go through these school days without Austin's physical presence with them.

Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend, Friend!

Michelle said...

What beautiful pictures!

The last year I've questioned "you moms" that say I'm going to miss these crazy hard days. But the last few months as I see them grow, I DO want to hit the pause button and keep them this little!



Maryann said...

Living our lives with forever in view is how we all need to approach every day. Loss of a loved one, illness, difficulties loosen our grip on the here and now and make us long for heaven more. I have thought of you as the school year started without your precious Austin, and continue to pray for you and your family.

Sandy said...

Dear Camille,
May God's Truth, His Words, continue to bring comfort to each of you. How it touches my heart that you all can cry and laugh easily. I ache with you but God is there so we can lean on Him. Yes, how did my little man grow so fast?! 13 months, definitely by His Grace!
HUGS, my friend.
Sandy

Cinnamon said...

Camille,
It is a process isn't it, this life we live. I really enjoy reading how you are remembering Austin and finding comfort that he is in Heaven.

I know he lives in the lives within your home. A smile, a funny laugh, an expression. Oh such sweet memories the Lord leaves with us.

How sweet that you and Emma have a special season of schooling right now. What a blessing your children are.

{hugs} ~Cinnamon

Becky L. said...

I'm on the other end of my children growing up. They are older. I actually had to do math to figure out how old my son was now. Next year he'll be 30 and his sis is 4 yrs older than he is...he has our adorable grandchildren. It's fun to watch them grow and learn! Loved the photos of your children. They are a wonderful bunch, I bet. Emma is adorable and glad she has loving brothers as well. Hugs my dear as you face each day. I've often thought how life goes on when within the family life changes, death or illness that requires surgery....puzzling for sure but great that we know our Lord is always with us, never leaves us nor forsakes us.

Angela said...

"We need the black and grey colours in our lives
just as much as we need the bright ones.
It's how it is. And, it is good."

I think we need the black and grey so that we are so much more aware and grateful for the beauty of the colours. I think this every time there's a lot of grey skies obscuring the mountains, only to have the sun reveal them in all their majesty. The colours in my life are brighter because of the times of black. I hope you experience this too. Even as you live in the in-between. Lots of love, Angela

Jill said...

Such lovely photos of a wonderful family and I know Austin is mailing down on all of you!
Hugs!

Blessings, Jill

Patty said...

Time does march on. The days seem to fly by and change quickly into weeks, months, and years. I was just telling our youngest son tonight that it seems like yesterday that his dad and I were his age. Now we are nearing fifty! It's hard to believe that all of that life has been lived and is behind us now.

You have a lovely family with years of testimony for the Lord. Keep on living in the moment and the gift of now for His glory! Blessings!

Camille said...

Dianna ~ I so appreciate you, you know that? :)

Michelle ~ Funny how that works! Yes, indeed...one day you too will look back fondly on these precious days! Enjoy! :)

Maryann ~ Thank you SO much for praying...how we are thankful for the prayers prayed for us! :)

Sandy ~ Your little man is a cutie pie...enjoy these precious days! Hugs to you! :)

Cinnamon ~ I appreciate your perspective on things my friend...thank you! :)

Becky ~ Thank you for your words of encouragement my friend. Thank you! :)

Angela ~ Yes, I think it's true...the black shows up the colour better. :)

Jill ~ Hugs to you as well my friend. Thank you for stopping by! :)

Patty ~ Ah, yes...the nearing 50 thing...how did it happen?! :)

Many Blessings,
Camille

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

Well said, Camille!

Camille said...

Thank you Jackie. XO