September 5, 2013

Forever Altered

The new me is here to stay.
The new me is living without part of the old me.
I will never again be who I was before Austin
went Home to Heaven.  Never again.

I'm forever altered.

It's not a bad thing, though.
This new me is more weaned from this world.
My eternal perspective has been sharpened.
I long for Heaven more.  I love the Lord more.

I'm dead to me more.

Austin is not the same, either.

He is perfect and free from his body of death.
One day, I will be too.  One day.

Until then, I must live and follow and serve.

I must put aside the things that weigh me down.
I must abandon all my hopes and dreams to my Saviour.
His ways.  His purposes.  His plans.

All for Him.  Surrendered.

By His grace.  For His glory.  Alone.

With Love,

**Photo courtesy of our friend Rick ~

Thank you so very much!  


Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

It is a new kind of normal. I am so sorry. I feel the same way in many respects. When I long for the old life, the before our devestation, I know it will never be again. It is new and I will be forever changed. You and I can now minister to people we couldn't, and do things we wouldn't have nornally do. God uses our pain in the strangest of ways. He gets glory. He is being glorified in your life, my friend. I needed this post today.

Dianna said...

I'm praying for you dear Camille. I just recently heard a message on the necessity of grieving, siting the example of Jesus when he was grieving with Mary and Martha over the loss of their brother and His friend. I thought of you immediately. When your heart hurts and aches, so does mine because of that bond we have in Jesus. May He give you deep abiding peace and strength as you turn to Him.

Kerri said...

Camille, you are an inspiration. The core of who you are pours out of your words and that's a woman who has laid it all at the foot of the cross. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, losing a child is every parents worst fear but your transparency reminds me that this life is a vapor.
James 4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
Bless you and your family as you walk through this valley.

Nadine said...

May The Lord bless you my friend! Keeping you in my prayers.


Grandmabeckyl.blogspot said...

Oh Camille, life goes on but it's changed. Life perspective changed, living and loving the Lord and family important. Be strong, courageous and cry, grieve when you need to. Hugs among tears for you and family. I know they are grieving as well.

OurCrazyFarm said...

You are in my prayers and thoughts often, Camille. Hold on tight to the promises of Scripture, they will be your lifesavers. You're so right~ suffering is not a bad thing as it opens our eyes to eternity. What a glorious hope found in Jesus!

Wanting What I Have said...

Precious, precious friend. It is profound to see Jesus in and through you. My heart is heavy for you and yours over the deep loss of Austin's presence, and yet I am so powerfully encouraged by the Lord's work in your life. You make me want to love Jesus more. To seek Him and His face. To go for the eternal. Thank you for sharing your heart and what He is doing. You are such an encouragement. I am so thankful for you. And for Austin. I love you, sweet friend. I'm praying for you. xoxo

Camille said...

Dear Stacie ~ How true it is...all for His glory!! How precious to belong to Him. Keep your eyes fixed my's the best thing to do! Hugs to you. :)

Dear Dianna ~ What sweet and comforting words you share here...thank you! I appreciate your friendship and the fact that we are sisters in the Lord. He is Good! :)

Dear Kerri ~ Thank you for your kind and encouraging words...they bless my heart. Thank you for pointing me to's precious. Hugs to you! :)

Dear Nadine ~ Thank you for praying for us my sweet friend. I appreciate you! :)

Dear Becky ~ Your sweet words and friendship bless my heart. Thank you! Hugs to you. :)

Dear Terri ~ I appreciate your perspective...I know you are keenly aware of these things...thank you for sharing your heart and for being a sweet encouragement. May the Lord continue to walk the path of grief with you as well. May His comfort be with you always. Hugs to you! :)

Dear Jennifer ~ Thank you so much my sweet friend. I am thankful for you and for your bless my heart! Hugs to you all and a kiss for your littlest. :)

With love,

Patrizia said...

Dearest Camille ~

Heb. 13:5

I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Mat. 11:28

Come unto me, all ye that labour & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest.

Mat. 5:4

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

1 Pet. 5:7

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I am praying.....

Heather@Cultivated Lives said...

Not the same. I couldn't help but think of the words of Paul when he wrote, "To live is Christ, to die is gain." Thank you for this post that as with all your others draws my eyes to Christ - the beauty of living for Him and ultimately living with Him.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

This picture makes me want to cry, but that is OK. I so wish you didn't have to go through this pain. My heart aches for you guys. I love how your focus is always on the positive even during such extreme grief. Your example is priceless.

Camille said...

Dear Patrizia ~ Thank you SO much! God is truly Good. Always.

Dear Heather ~ We just in the last few days listened to our Austin give his testimony (a pre-recorded chapel from the school our children are linked with) and one of the other students quoted that very verse in reference to Austin's journey. Yes, die IS gain! Whatever the Lord would have is what we desire. By His grace alone.

Dear Jackie ~ You bless my heart. I am thankful for you.

With love,