Nearly a Year Ago

Nearly a year ago, I wrote this post.
At that time we thought our troubles with Austin 
were a thing of the past.  We were wrong.

It turned out to be a beautiful reprieve in the midst of the trial.
We must remind ourselves that Austin's healing is complete ~ he is well.
It was God's plan all along to heal him ~ just not here.
Oh, how I thought it was going to be here!
My heart aches with the reality that we now face.

Through it all, however, I still believe that God is Good.  Always.

I still believe that He does all things well.  Always.

I still believe that He is in complete control.  Of all things.
Even when the *unthinkable* happens.  Yes, even then.

~ L to R: Emma, Calvin and Fraser at Austin's grave ~

Why did things change for the better, and then end like this?

Why did the LORD call our son home to Heaven?

Because His ways are higher than ours.

And, the way He accomplishes His plans sometimes is mysterious.

But, that does not make Him any less Good.

Any less in control.  Any less than Perfect.

Not at all.

We just look through a glass darkly.

We see things through finite minds.

We are limited on this side of eternity.

But, God is not limited.

He sees perfectly.  He acts perfectly.
He does all things well.

And, He cares when we hurt.

Yes, we hurt.  But, He is meeting us in this pain.

And He is carrying and providing and giving grace.

Moment by moment.  

~ L to R: Fraser (3), Emma (6 mths), Austin (7) and Calvin (5) ~

Today I give thanks.  To the Giver of Life.

Our Great God is worthy of all praise.

For all eternity we will praise Him.  Austin is praising Him at this very moment.

May He help us to do so as well, even in the midst of pain of suffering

on this side of eternity ~ in the here and now.  

On this day, I am thankful for these mercies...

 Austin died at home ~ peacefully in his sleep.

He'd had a good night and was looking forward to the day.

The *little black box* in his pacemaker that told us what happened.

It would have been a pain-free passing ~ how that comforts my Mama heart!
And God, in His mercy, allowed me to have one last moment with him that morning.

He was not in the hospital and never had been hospitalised for Crohn's.

We had an extra 14 months with him ~ two or three of which he felt really well.

He was beginning to play his violin again and create music with Fraser ~

I am so grateful that I recorded some of those moments on video.

He took Emma along to the library and on errands a few times in his last month.

We were able to go to the park together and watch him send up a rocket ~ twice.

Cousins had been over to visit recently, not knowing what was to happen.
Grandparents each had their last visit with Austin recently as well.
We have many, many memories of our precious son.
And, I had taken many photos of life as it happened.

Austin's testimony was clear and his faith strong.
He loved his Saviour and grew spiritually through his struggles.
Mercifully, we didn't focus during this last year on the possibility of an early death.
Rather, we lived, as much as we were able to, in the moment.
And, we enjoyed life together.

The day prior to Austin's home-going he was studying for an exam.
He was living life, too.
He had planned to re-connect with a childhood friend on that Saturday.
I remember hearing Austin chat on the phone with that particular friend 
as they caught up with one another ~ it was SO wonderful to listen to 
Austin's side of the conversation and piece it together ~ JOY!

I am thankful for the many memories we have to cherish.
Austin in his Uncle's Canadian Airlines uniform ~ 
he was approximately six years old.

The boys in the dressing room getting ready to play some hockey.

L to R: Austin (11), Fraser (7), Calvin (9)

Austin and Fraser playing at their cousin Kristy's wedding

in May 2012 ~ Austin was 17 and Fraser was nearly 13.

Last Summer on my birthday ~

We thought Austin had turned the corner for good.

Oh, how thankful I am for those precious, precious days!

So, yes.  God is Good.  Always.

He gives grace and strength and peace and comfort.

And, when there are no answers we trust and we rest.

In HIM.  In HIS perfect plan.  In HIS Sovereignty.

All is a gift from His hand.  Everything.  

Many Blessings, Camille